Assignment 8 JMC 414

I would definitely have changed the stories lead. Miller used a lot of platitudes and editorialized the lead to invoke emotions, but his lead did not really explain what the article was about. While, it might have been his personal choice to change it, the editor had reason to do so. The rewritten lead was much more informative and did a better job at pulling the reader in than the first did. I would definitely have changed the stories lead. Miller used a lot of platitudes to invoke emotions, but his lead did not really explain what the article was about. While, it might have been his personal choice to change it, the editor had reason to do so. The rewritten lead was much more informative and did a better job at pulling the reader in than the first did. However, the rewritten one was not much better. I would have deleted the end of the lead which said “according to a study done by…”