Assignment #2

The Coldest Yard Review

In the Coldest Yard, Nate Jackson reviews the temperature invincibility of football players. With the upcoming outdoor Super Bowl in New York City many football fans and players are worried about the weather and the temperature it could possibly have.

In the lead, Jackson takes a long time to get to the point and he lost me early on.  As I read on to the second paragraph, Jackson finally started making the point of what the article was. It wasn’t until the second paragraph that I was really intrigued by the story.

Even though this column was done for the New York Times, I found it lacked serious research. The only person he referenced was himself and personal experience. Other than that I also found it was weird he kept bring the story back to himself, instead of focusing on the fans and the players it should have focused on.

Rotten foul shooting a chance to channel Hal

It is hard for me to analyze the lead or the second paragraph because there really was none.  Chuck Landon had a new line for every sentence and did not follow traditional news story layout.

Landon’s tone was very negative towards the team and he sounded quite upset about their performance lately. Landon also uses a lot of filler words and a good amount of platitudes to make his writing sound more intelligent, when it actually just made his writing look worse.

Landon’s quotes were poorly picked and if I were a copy editor I would have removed them during the first read.  He also often repeated himself which annoyed me as well.  The story could have been cut in half with all these extras removed.